Walk The Joke
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: After seeing Joker, Cartman gets scared that Butters is out to kill him. Meanwhile, the PC Babies have invited Joaquin Phoenix over for dinner (Since they are famous) and PC Principal has to learn to control his PC behaviour, or Strong Woman won't let him see the babies. (WARNING! Some spoilers for Joker)


South Park elementary.

School cafeteria.

Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Token, Craig, Jimmy and Butters were eating their lunch when Kyle walked in pissed.

Kyle sat down pissed off.

Everyone just continued eating.

Kyle coughed.

Everyone just continued eating.

Kyle coughed again.

But still everyone continued eating.

Kyle coughed louder again.

Cartman: What?

Kyle slammed a newspaper on the table.

Stan: Oh my God! Again?

Token: I am getting sick and tired of people saying it's controversial.

Craig: I saw the movie and it wasn't that violent apart from that one disturbingly gruesome scene.

Butters: What's going on fellas?

Stan hands Butters the newspaper.

The headline read "Joker is violent and will inspire people to commit crimes".

Kyle: What's co controversial about this movie? I mean it's disturbing yes, but I haven't been inspired to commit crimes.

Craig: Yeah!

Jimmy: I saw t-t-t-the movie and the only con-controversial thing I saw was, it was fa-fantastic.

Everyone: Yeah!

Butters: I saw the movie, but I didn't get past the previews because my Dad caught me watching it and grounded me.

Token: What about you Cartman? Did you see the movie?

Cartman: Pfft. Uh, duh! Of course I did.

Cartman continued eating.

Stan: You didn't see the movie.

Cartman: Yes I did.

Kyle: Than name a scene apart from the ones shown in the trailers.

Cartman: Uuuuuummmmmm...Batman shows up in full costume?

Everyone just glared at Cartman.

Kyle: You didn't see the movie.

Butters: Eric it's ok. There's no need to feel ashamed.

Cartman: There is nee-Wait a minute the movie's rated R, how the living fuck did you guys get in?

Stan: We just did. Apparently this is the most important movie of 2019 and the guy at the counter allowed me to see it.

Craig: Same here.

Kenny: I saw it twice.

Cartman: Kinny how did you manage to see the movie twice?

Clyde: Why haven't you seen the movie?

Cartman: Because my Mom forced me to see The Goldfinch.

Kyle: What the fuck is The Goldfinch?

Jimmy: No wonder it's a box-box office bomb. Half the people do-don't know or care what it is.

Cartman: It's about-I don't even remember what it was about.

Butters: Eric, you're like the only person on this table who hasn't seen Joker.

Cartman: Stop trying to guilt trip me! I'll try and see it this weekend alright?!

Stan: And you will tell us your opinion?

Cartman: Yes I will!

Cartman glares at his friends.

Cartman: Did anyone else remember what The Goldfinch was about?

Jimmy: No.

Craig: I read the premise on IMDB and I just forgotten about it.

Mr Mackey's office.

Mr Mackey was sitting on his chair writing some important papers whilst listening to the PC Babies.

PC Principal entered his office.

PC Principal: Mackey.

Mr Mackey panicked.

Mr Mackey: Y-y-yes PC Principal?

PC Principal: I only came in here to ask you your opinion on The Joker movie.

Mr Mackey: Um. That's it?

PC Principal: Yes! I saw it the other day and the reason the movie gives for Joker's killings is insensitive. Mental illnesses do not cause you to become a psychopath!

Mr Mackey: PC Principal, I think you got the point of the movie wrong.

PC Principal: Fuck you say Mackey?

Mr Mackey: PC Principal, it's just a movie mmkay! My cousin suffers a mental illness and she loved the movie. I saw it the other day and it sure does deserve a few Oscars.

PC Principal: But it's insensitive. People are gonna take the movie's message the wrong way and-

Mr Mackey: Sorry, this is the best part of the song.

Mr Mackey silences PC Principal to listen to the best part of the song.

PC Babies:_ (Crying)._

Mr Mackey: I love this part of the song sorry. Strong Woman is lucky to have amazing singers.

PC Principal: Mr Mackey, I think we're getting off topic.

Mr Mackey: Um, don't you have a child who needs to be taught to respect people's privileges? Mmkay.

PC Principal: No.

Mr Mackey: Than could you leave me to get back to signing these papers? Mmkay.

PC Principal: I will. Sorry for wasting your time Mackey.

Mr Mackey: Apology accepted.

PC Principal was about to exit the office.

Mr Mackey: And the PC Babies are lucky.

PC Principal: Yeah they are. They are being an inspiration to children who wanna be PC.

Mr Mackey: Not just that. Don't you read their Instagram?

PC Principal: I don't use Instagram. And they have an Instagram?

Mr Mackey: Yeah they do. Well they're inviting a special guest over for dinner this weekend. They're inviting Joaquin Phoenix.

PC Principal: Well that's great on them.

PC Principal left the office.

Later.

Principal's office.

PC Principal was signing some papers.

Later.

PC Principal was in the cinema watching The Goldfinch and he was the only one who was watching it.

Ansel Elgort: _My Mom was killed in a bombing and I've been-(Sigh) Like you fucking care._

PC Principal: I don't understand why this movie is a bomb.

Later.

PC Principal was having a dentist appointment.

The dentist was checking his teeth.

Later.

PC Principal was driving in his car until he came to a screeching halt.

PC Principal sat in shock.

PC Principal: No way!

But behind PC Principal was a huge line of traffic and the horns were honking.

Jimbo: Move it you bastard!

PC Principal pokes his head out of the window and looks behind him and glares at Jimbo.

Jimbo: Oh shit! Sorry PC Principal. Sorry I used the offensive term to describe a male who doesn't have a Dad.

PC Principal poked his head back into the car.

PC Principal drove forward with a worried look on his face.

PC Principal: They couldn't have invited Joaquin Phoenix! They couldn't have!

Ext. Bijou Theatre.

Cartman walked up to the counter.

Cartman gave the guy 5 dollars.

Cartman: One ticket for Joker.

Ticket guy: You do realise this is an R-rated movie?

Cartman: Yes I do.

Ticket Guy: But since this is an amazing movie and I think everyone should see it, I'll let you through.

The ticket guy gives Cartman his ticket.

Cartman goes into the theatre and takes his seat.

Cartman: I'll show those guys.

The movie starts.

Cartman: Ok. It seems dull so far.

Minutes later.

Cartman was looking uneasy.

Minutes later.

Cartman was looking disturbed.

Minutes later.

Cartman screamed.

Minutes later.

Cartman was watching a scene looking disturbed and threw up.

At the end of the movie, Cartman was paralysed with fear.

Ext. Bijou Theatre.

Cartman exists the theatre disturbed.

Cartman: Holy shit dude.

Ticket Guy: Yeah. Pretty disturbing stuff right?

Cartman: Yeah.

Ticket Guy: Makes you think about all the socially awkward people you pushed aside doesn't it?

Cartman: Not really.

Cartman walked down the street disturbed.

Strong Woman's house.

Strong Woman finished tucking the PC babies into bed.

Strong Woman walked into the room and notices PC Principal on the couch with his arms folded.

PC Principal: We need to talk.

Strong Woman: About what?

PC Principal: Sit Strong Woman.

Strong Woman sat down.

PC Principal: I am not thrilled.

Strong Woman: What?

PC Principal: With the children.

Strong Woman: It's the fact they invited Joaquin Phoenix for dinner isn't it?

PC Principal: You're right.

Strong Woman: I tried telling them no! But they kept crying when I kept saying no, even though they know how you'll react.

PC Principal: Why didn't they change their mind?

Strong Woman: Listen! How about for once you cut this PC bullshit and treat Joaquin Phoenix with respect alright?!

PC Principal: But the way Joaquin portrayed The Joker was completely insensitive!

Strong Woman: Oh! You're just like those critics! They don't know what they're complaining about!

PC Principal: What did you say?

Strong Woman: There hasn't been a movie in 2019 that was worth complaining about and than they just decide to complain about Joker! I'll have you know PC Principal, I saw Joker and I loved it! Joaquin portrayed the character magnificently! And if you disrespect Mr Phoenix at dinner, than I will make sure you will never see your children again!

PC Principal: You can't forbid me to see my children!

Strong Woman: I have legal rights! Since everyone doesn't know you are the father!

PC Principal stood shocked.

Strong Woman: So, you promise you'll not disrespect Joaquin Phoenix when he shows up for dinner?

PC Principal: I'll try and control my PC behaviour.

Strong Woman: Ok. Remember this means a lot to the children, so be on your best behaviour.

PC Principal: I will.

Strong Woman left PC Principal to tend to the babies.

PC Principal sat down on the couch.

PC Principal: A night where I can't be PC? This is gonna be really hard.

Cartman residence.

Cartman was sleeping until he woke up.

Cartman went downstairs to the kitchen to have a snack from the fridge.

As Cartman got something out of the fridge he turns around and realises that Butters is standing there with scissors in his hands.

Cartman: Oh hey Butters, what's going on?

Butters: You invited me for a sleepover remember?

Cartman: Did I?

Butters: Yes you did.

Butters approached Cartman and stabs him in the neck with scissors.

Cartman held his wound to prevent more blood from shooting out of his neck.

Butters: This is for all the years of torment you gave me.

Cartman just stared at Butters with fear and shock before succumbing to his wounds.

Cartman woke up screaming in his bed realising it was all a dream.

Cartman: Oh thank God.

Suddenly Butters showed up at the side of Cartman's bed with a syringe.

Cartman: AAAAAHHHH! You're gonna make me artistic!

Butters hits Cartman with the syringe and releases the liquid.

Cartman wakes up screaming and realises once again it was a dream.

Cartman lies back down doing some heavy breathing.

Cartman: Have I wronged Butters so many times that he might wanna kill me?

South Park elementary.

Councillor's office

Cartman enters the office.

Cartman: Mr Mackey.

Mr Mackey: Eric Cartman. What can I do for you?

Cartman: It's nothing much Mr Mackey it's just, I'm just paranoid.

Mr Mackey: About what?

Cartman: I have wronged Butters in the past so many times that, I'm paranoid he's out to kill me.

Mr Mackey: What do you want me to do about it?

Cartman: Just give me protection.

Mr Mackey: Or maybe I could ask him to come here and we could talk things out.

Cartman: No! No! No! I won't!

Mr Mackey: Eric this might help mmkay.

In a hallway.

Voice on the PA system: _Butters Stotch, please report to the councillor's office._

Butters: Me?

Later in the councillor's office.

Butters entered the room and sees Cartman sitting on a chair.

Mr Mackey: Have a seat Butters.

Butters sat on a chair beside Cartman.

Butters: What's the matter?

Mr Mackey: It's nothing much Butters, it's just Eric's scared you're out to kill him.

Butters: What? I'm not out to kill Eric.

Mr Mackey: That's what I thought. I called you here so you could reassure Eric you are not out to kill him mmkay. So could you say that to him again mmkay?

Butters: Eric, whatever you have done I forgive you and I would never kill you.

Butters gave Cartman a smile

Cartman: Ok Butters.

Mr Mackey: Ok looks like we've cleared things up nicely mmkay.

Outside the office.

Butters: I don't know where you got this ridiculous idea Eric, but there is no way in heck I will kill you.

Butters walked away.

Cartman: He could be trying to make me believe otherwise, he maybe smart but I'm smarter. Looks like I have to bring out the old detective suit.

PC Principal's office.

PC Principal was panicking to himself.

PC Principal: How do I not make myself not PC? How? How can I tone down my PC behaviour? Surely it can't be hard. I just have to say the offensive word to describe a woman.

PC Principal looks at himself in the mirror.

PC Principal: You are one stupid b-b-b-b-b, bi-bi-bi. You are one stupid biiiiiiiiiiiiii. This is gonna take a lot of work.

Meanwhile.

Cartman was walking down the hallway dressed like Jessica Jones.

Cartman (Narrating): Butters and I have always been the best of frienemies. But after seeing Joker I start to wonder if he's out to kill me for all the times I've fucked him over. About time I found out.

Cartman watches Butters putting some stuff in the locker.

Cartman (Narrating): I better remember his locker combination.

Butters leaves the locker and continues walking.

Cartman walks up to the locker and turns the lock and puts in the combination and looks in the locker.

Cartman (Narrating): Holy shit!

The locker was filled with pictures with him and Nelly, some bags and books.

Cartman (Narrating): Boy his locker's even more lovey dovey than Stan's. Wait is it? I never looked in it again after his whole hoarding academic. Oh cool his wallet.

Cartman grabs Butters' wallet, which awfully looked like a purse; and took the money from it.

PC Principal walked down the hall looking nervous.

PC Principal: Looks like I have to turn to the most un-PC person I know.

PC Principal's office.

PC Principal: I know we have had our rough spots and I know I may not like you for your un-PC attitude but I really need your help to make me act like a person who isn't PC.

The person PC Principal was talking to is Kyle who was sitting there annoyed.

Kyle: So you want me help you act like a normal person? Just because I said that Caitlyn Jenner isn't a hero doesn't make me a bad person.

PC Principal: What?!

Kyle: See this is the attitude you are using!

PC Principal: Alright! How can I start by not being PC? Do you want me to start spouting micro aggressions?

Kyle: Look just because you have to act normal for one night, doesn't mean you need to spout micro aggressions. You don't need to say them, you just gotta ignore them.

PC Principal: But I can't ignore. I listen to much.

Kyle: Alright this is gonna need a lot of work.

Cartman was walking down the hall.

Cartman (Narrating): I need more proof that Butters might be out to kill me and-

Suddenly Nelly slams Cartman into a locker.

Cartman: What?

Nelly: You know what you did!

Cartman: What did I do?!

Nelly: You broke into my locker and stole money from my purse!

Cartman: That was your purse? I thought that was Butters'.

Nelly: What were you doing at my locker?!

Cartman: That was your locker?

Nelly: Yeah. How did you know the password?!

Cartman: I thought that was Butters'! Wait I think a better question to ask is, 1: How did you know I was at your locker? 2: What was Butters doing at your locker and 3: Has Butters had any psychological thoughts about killing me?

Nelly: 1: Because Annie told me 2: Butters was putting some stuff away for me and 3: What the fuck are you on about?

Cartman: 1: Why didn't Annie stop me? And 2: I've had this feeling ever since I saw Joker that Butters is trying to kill me.

Nelly: That's a good question actually why didn't Annie stop you? Look I'm seeing Joker with Butters tomorrow, since he didn't get past the previews when he saw it since his Dad caught him. Once he sees the movie he won't be out to kill you, I might.

Cartman: (Pfft) No way. You won't kill me.

Nelly pulled a gun at Cartman.

Cartman screamed and ran.

Nelly pulled the trigger and water flew out.

Nelly giggled.

Nelly: Dumb ass.

Museum of tolerance.

Kyle and PC Principal enter the museum.

Tour Guide: Hi welcome to the Museum of Tolerance. Let's begin our tour.

Kyle: Hi, we're only here for the tunnel of prejudice. I'm here with a person of PC culture to help him ignore micro aggressions.

Tour Guide: Oh. Well, right this way.

They make it to the tunnel of prejudice.

Kyle: You ready PC Principal?

PC Principal sighed.

PC Principal: Yeah.

PC Principal enters the tunnel of prejudice.

Tour Guide: He won't last 5 seconds in there.

10 seconds later.

PC Principal exited the end of the tunnel of prejudice.

Tour Guide: He lasted longer than I thought.

Kyle: Well?

PC Principal was silent for a moment.

PC Principal: Who is this fucking person?! Where is the voice actor?! Where is-

Kyle: PC Principal! Calm down!

PC Principal: Sorry!

Kyle: Would you like to try and go through it again?

PC Principal: I would rather die at the hands of an ad, than go back in there.

Kyle: Alright this gonna take a lot of work. PC Principal come over to my house tomorrow, we're gonna watch a few movies.

The White House.

Mr Garrison was talking with Caitlyn.

Mr Garrison: And than Joker stabs a guy in the neck with scissors and than in the eye and than bashes his head against the wall.

Caitlyn threw up in a trash can.

Caitlyn: Garrison! Are you trying to make me throw up?

Mr Garrison: No. I was telling you a pretty awesome moment from that movie.

Two FBI agents enter the Oval Office.

Mr Garrison: What is it?

FBI agent 1: Sir. We're monitoring social media on people who talk about Joker.

Mr Garrison: Why?

FBI agent 2: Because we're scared this movie may pose as a national threat.

Mr Garrison slapped his head.

Mr Garrison: Are you smoking Tegridy weed right now?

FBI agent 2: Um...no.

Mr Garrison: For God sake! It's just a movie! Do you have any idea how retarded that sounds? Just because it's violent and shows a man slowly going down the path of insanity, doesn't mean it poses a national threat.

FBI agent 1: But-

Mr Garrison: How come you decided to monitor people on social media who talk about Joker, instead of Avengers Endgame?! Someone could've revealed spoilers when it was released! Dumbasses.

FBI agent 1: But what if somebody takes the movie the wrong-

Mr Garrison: Zip.

FBI agent 2: What we're saying-

Mr Garrison: Shut up!

FBI agent 1: Joker-

Mr Garrison: Sssshhhh.

FBI agent 2: But sir-

Mr Garrison: Knock knock.

FBI agent 1: Who's there?

Mr Garrison: Shut the fuck up! And get out of my office!

The agents leave the office.

Mr Garrison rubs his hands against his face.

Mr Garrison: What is wrong with this world Caitlyn?

Voice: Wait, is Joker out?

Mr Garrison: Yes Tom Cruise! Please get out of the closet.

Tom Cruise runs out of the closet.

Tom Cruise: I have to see this!

Caitlyn: Well at least that got him out of the closet.

Mr Garrison: I honestly don't understand the controversy. If somebody tries to ban the movie in a town than there's something wrong with everyone.

The next day.

The mayor's office.

Shiela Broflovski was in the office.

Shiela: This movie is violent and children might get the wrong idea about the film's message. So I think we should ban this movie.

Mayor McDaniels: Mrs Broflovski, remember what happened the last time you tried to ban an R-rated movie?

Clips from South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut are shown.

Sheila: Don't worry, I plan to ban it in South Park not statewide.

Mayor McDaniels: How many times do I have to tell people? It's just a movie.

Sheila: But it is senseless, it is a horrible representation for people who suffer mental illnesses. And I cannot tolerate it. And PC Principal would agree with me.

Broflovski residence.

Kyle: Alright PC Principal. I am gonna show you Django Unchained and Tropic Thunder and I need you not to be offended by them. Just ignore it, got it?

PC Principal: Alright.

Kyle: I'll leave you alone.

Kyle left the house.

5 hours later.

Kyle: Hey PC Principal I'm-Wow!

Kyle sees PC Principal breathing heavily with a smashed TV in front of him.

Kyle: Ok. You sure you don't want to watch them on Amazon Prime?

PC Principal: It's hopeless. Now Strong Woman will never let me see her children again and I won't be their manny.

Kyle: PC Principal, that sounds awful. Look PC Principal. I will try and help you ignore every micro aggression ever.

PC Principal: You might as well face it Broflovski, I'm hopeless.

Kyle: PC Principal, from the day I met you I saw you as a person who will never give up on his goal. When I said that Caitlyn Jenner wasn't a hero, you went out of your way to convince me otherwise, forcefully. And if you give up, well you'll probably bring shame to the PC culture and I know you don't want that. So what do you say PC Principal? Do you wanna be a failure to the PC culture? Or a winner?

PC Principal sat down thinking for a while.

PC Principal: You're right. I am a person of PC culture.

PC Principal puts on his Oakley's.

PC Principal: And I never quit.

Kyle smiles.

Suddenly sirens are heard.

Kyle: What's going on?

Kyle and PC Principal exit the house to see the sight.

They see the police carrying a body bag.

Kyle approached Cartman, Clyde, Jimmy, Butters and a crowed of people watching the sight.

Kyle: What's happened?

Clyde: Tim Ledger killed Harry Nicholson for all the years of bullying he has caused him.

Kyle: Well Harry had it coming.

Yates: What's the sitch?

Mitch: Huh?

Yates: It's short for situation, I'm trying to fit into this modern world dammit!

Mitch: Ok. Well, little Tim saw Joker today and it kind of inspired him to kill the ones who have bullied him over the years.

Yates: Just like the movie.

Sheila showed up to join the crowd

Sheila: This is what I'm talking about! This movie should be banned!

Mayor McDaniels suddenly showed up.

Mayor McDaniels: It has come to my attention that Shiela is right. We shall ban this movie from being shown in South Park!

Everyone: Awww!

PC Principal: It's been banned?

Kyle: Yeah.

Cartman (Narrating): Hopefully Butters didn't see the movie. That way he won't be inspired to-

Butters: I saw the movie and I thought it was good.

Cartman (Narrating): Oh shit!

Butters: Sure it was scary and violent but that doesn't mean it should be outlawed. What do you think Eric?

Cartman screamed and ran home.

Jimmy: I guess he di-didn't like the movie.

Cartman residence.

Cartman ran upstairs to his room.

Cartman: Butters saw the movie. He's definitely gonna have thoughts about killing me. Fuck!

South Park elementary.

Butters was playing football with Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Token, Clyde, Craig and Jason White whilst Cartman was taking pictures with his camera.

Cartman (Narrating): I've been spying on Butters all day and so far, he hasn't done anything suspicious.

Cut to the 4th grade class.

Everyone was working but Cartman was taking pictures with his camera.

Cartman (Narrating): I've been spying on Butters in class.

Mrs Nelson: Eric! Will you please stop taking pictures?!

Cut to Butters and Nelly on the swing set laughing and talking.

But behind them, Cartman was spying on them.

Cartman (Narrating): I've been watching him hang out with his girlfriend.

Cut to Butters using the urinal.

What Butters didn't know was that Cartman was watching him from above in a vent.

Cartman (Narrating): And I've watched him in the bathroom. Boy his wiener's bigger than mine. I wonder how long this vent can hold my-

Suddenly a loud metal clang was heard.

Cartman: Oh shit!

Suddenly the vents broke and Cartman fell into the bathroom.

Butters notices this.

Butters: Hey Eric. What were you doing in the vents?

Butters pulls up his pants.

Cartman: Um...I was recreating Die Hard.

Butters: Eric. I know when you're lying.

Cartman suddenly grabs Butters' bathroom key and runs out of the bathroom and locks Butters in.

Butters: Eric! What are you doing?

Cartman: I know what you're trying to do Butters! You want to kill me!

Butters: Eric! I told you that's already ridiculous. I never wanted to kill you.

Cartman: Bullshit Butters! You saw Joker and it's inspired you to try and kill the ones who have wronged you and I'm one of those people.

Butters: Eric! Please let me out.

Cartman: I'm sorry Butters. But I don't want to end up like that Nicholson kid.

Cartman walks away.

Butters: Eric! Eric! Eric!

After school.

Kyle was waiting outside the school for PC Principal.

PC Principal exited the school and approached Kyle.

Kyle: You ready?

PC Principal: Yeah.

Montage starts.

Kyle is shouting through a megaphone at PC Principal and PC Principal was ignoring it. Kyle gave PC Principal a thumbs up and PC Principal did the same with Kyle.

PC Principal exiting the tunnel of tolerance and just smiling.

Kyle and PC Principal watching Tropic Thunder.

Kyle and PC Principal in a theatre in Denver watching Joker.

Later, PC Principal was running up a mountain, he was struggling a bit but when he got to the top he lifted his fists in the air.

PC Principal: Phoenix!

The word echoed throughout the mountains.

Kyle approached PC Principal.

Kyle: What did this have to do with anything?

PC Principal: What? I felt like running up a mountain.

Kyle: You do realise dinner with Joaquin Phoenix is only in 20 minutes?

PC Principal: Oh no bro!

PC Principal ran down the mountain and Kyle followed.

Meanwhile.

Broflovski residence.

Shiela: I'm so glad that movie's been banned. That way people won't have to take the message of the movie seriously.

Gerald: Uh Huh.

Shiela: I mean I saw the movie and it was horrible. Phoenix should be ashamed for making mental illnesses the reason for people to commit crimes.

Gerald: Uh Huh.

Kyle entered the house.

Kyle ran upstairs.

Shiela: Kyle. Why the rush?

In Kyle's room.

Kyle quickly changed into his best suit.

Kyle ran back downstairs.

Kyle: I'm helping PC Principal out.

Shiela: With what?

Kyle: Ok I'll tell you...

4 minutes of explaining later.

Kyle: And I'm keeping an eye out on PC Principal just to make sure his PC attitude doesn't get in the way.

Shiela: Aww that's nice that the PC Babies are having Joaquin Phoenix over for dinner.

Kyle: I know. I'll see you in a few hours.

Kyle left the house.

Gerald: Wait did he say he was having dinner with Joaquin Phoenix?

Shiela: What?! What?! What?!

South Park elementary.

Butters was still in the bathroom and ramming himself into the door.

Butters: Come on! Come on!

Butters rammed at the door again and it worked this time because he finally escaped.

Butters: I am gonna kill Eric! Not literally because that would be mean.

Strong Woman's house.

PC Principal was in his best suit and Kyle was at his side.

Kyle: You ready?

PC Principal: Yeah.

They enter the house.

Strong Woman: There you are, Mr Phoenix is here and the babies are getting hungry.

Joaquin Phoenix suddenly showed up from behind Strong Woman.

Joaquin: Come on Miss...Woman? We're not wasting any time.

Strong Woman: Sorry Mr Phoenix. What's Kyle Broflovski doing here?

Kyle: I'm actually here helping PC Principal on a few things.

Strong Woman: What things?

Joaquin went to sit back down.

PC Principal: I'll be honest with you, Kyle is here to help me control my PC behaviour.

Strong Woman: Why a- Never mind we'll discuss this later.

Strong Woman went to sit back down.

PC Principal: I hope I don't fuck this up.

Kyle: Look, with me here you won't.

Meanwhile.

Cartman was throwing burning matches at cow shit.

Cartman laughed.

Suddenly Butters showed up.

Butters: Eric!

Cartman: Uh oh.

Butters: I told you I didn't want to kill you!

Cartman: You were lying! I could tell.

Butters: Well I'm not! That would be mean and I would be put in prison and my Dad might ground me and Nelly might break up with me.

Cartman: Stop lying and leave me alone!

Cartman starts running.

Butters: Eric wait!

Strong Woman's house.

The group were having their dinner.

Joaquin: Listen PC Babies I've said this a ton of times, I am a huge fan of your music. My favourite song will have to be "Greta Thunberg is a hero".

PC Principal: Yeah that is a good one.

Strong Woman: But I'm also a fan of your work Mr Phoenix. I thought you were amazing in Walk The Line.

Joaquin: Yeah. I was. You know I'm glad you guys invited me, I was actually kind of scared that you wouldn't be glad that I was your fan.

Kyle: Why would you be scared the PC Babies wouldn't be glad?

Joaquin: Well isn't it obvious? You know? The Joker controversy?

Kyle suddenly started to think.

Joaquin: And I've said this once and I'll say it again, I'm glad they invited me.

Strong Woman: Wait, usually the PC Babies wouldn't be glad that Joaquin Phoenix is here because of that Joker controversy. Unless...

Joaquin: What?

The babies started to glare at Phoenix.

Kyle: They didn't invite you for dinner Mr Phoenix, they invited you to stream an apology from you.

Joaquin: Oh crap.

PC Principal: No way bro.

Joaquin: Look, how many times do I have to tell people "It's a movie".

The PC Babies started crying.

PC Principal: Mr Phoenix. You will apologise!

Joaquin: It's just a movie.

The PC Babies continue crying.

Joaquin: Alright! I'll apologise.

Suddenly Cartman ran into the house.

Cartman: Strong Woman!

Strong Woman: Did you leave the door unlock?

PC Principal: Uhhh...

Cartman: Butters is trying to kill me!

Joaquin: Who's Butters? And what kind of name is Butters?

The PC Babies continue crying.

PC Principal grabbed his phone and started filming Phoenix.

PC Principal: Are you ready to apologise?

Suddenly a brick was thrown into the house.

Strong Woman: What the?

Strong Woman looked out of the window and sees an angry mob of people.

Shiela: How can you do this Strong Woman?

Linda: Why is that son of a bitch in there?

Strong Woman: Oh shit.

Butters suddenly walked in.

Butters: Eric let me-

Cartman: No!

Cartman grabbed a gun.

Butters: No!

Cartman: Stop trying to kill me Butters!

Butters: I am not!

Everyone: Rabble Rabble Rabble Rabble!

Kyle: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Everyone stops.

Kyle: Listen, I know you're all mad about Joker. But let me explain, this controversy is pointless. Sure the film is violent and everyone's criticising Joker for being a violent character, but that's what The Joker's been for a long time, what did you expect Phoenix to do? Make him suck like Leto? And also you can't blame film and TV for violent crimes. Just because you see a movie about a violent character doesn't mean someone's gonna be inspired to kill somebody. It's just a movie. It doesn't hurt anyone and I admit the movie is disturbing, but that's the character. So can't we accept the movie as a movie and not a national threat?

Everyone stared at Kyle.

PC Principal started to clap slowly, Butters started to do the same and one by one people started to clap and so did Joaquin.

Joaquin: I don't know who you are, but you could solve all the world's problems.

Shiela: I guess Kyle's right. It's just a movie, I guess it won't hurt to lift the movie's ban.

Mayor McDaniels: It is decided, Joker's ban has been lifted.

Everyone applauded.

Strong Woman: Hey. Look I'm sorry I kind of threatened that I'll make sure you'll never see the children again. The children do deserve a manny.

PC Principal: Apology accepted Strong Woman.

Cartman: Hey Butters, I'm sorry I thought you were trying to kill me.

Butters: That's alright Eric.

Cartman: And since you're not trying to kill me, I get to do something special for you.

Butters: Do what?

Cartman: This.

Cartman punches Butters in the stomach.

Butters falls to the floor whilst holding onto his stomach.

Cartman: I'm still glad you're my little faggy friend.

Butters: So am I Eric, so am I.


End file.
